Tuesday, February 5, 2008

BELIEVE

The spelling of Eliot's nickname has been a topic of great debate since we named her last fall. Should it be Ellie (the way I write it because it seemed natural) or Elie (since there is only one L in Eliot)?

On Sunday night, a sign came ending the debate for good. Yes, a sign. Just a little note from the universe . . .

The birth of our twins was nothing short of traumatic (I know it's not the adjective most would use to describe the day their babies came into the world). It was late December, Christmas was a few days away, and Mike and I weren't feeling very merry.

While we were still in the hospital, our parents thought they would lift our spirits by decorating our house for Christmas. They went all out - Christmas tree, stockings, and decorations all over. I have a set of red and green blocks that say "B-E-L-I-E-V-E." They displayed the blocks on our bookcase in the family room, and when we got home on December 21st, the blocks were the first thing I saw. Mike and I stared at them and cried, realizing that this decoration had a much deeper meaning now. (I bought them to BELIEVE in Santa Claus, of course!)

When we put away our Christmas decorations on New Year's Day, we left the BELIEVE blocks on the bookcase. We both felt we needed a reminder to keep faith and hope at the forefront of our days. A long road was ahead in the NICU, and anything that would trigger our hearts and minds to believe in the strength of our babies was a good thing.

I have looked at those blocks every day since the babies were born. They were the perfect sign to stop and think.

On Sunday, I moved the blocks slightly to display a new vase I had bought. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but when I walked downstairs this morning, the B, V, and E were turned slightly to the side. And there it was, staring at me - right there in the middle of BELIEVE - Elie.

That's all the sign I needed. The spelling of Eliot's nickname has been officially changed, and if you still insist on being skeptical of signs - well, I guess you just need to learn to believe.

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3 comments:

Big Tilly! said...

If you don't turn this blog into a book on how to cope with premies it is a crime against humanity.

Viking said...

this is book material. i hope you'll let peter design the cover :)
love you!

Rachael M. said...

See - My instinct was always to spell it "Elie," and so I was spelling it right before spelling it right was cool and now you've conditioned me to spell it wrong.

That's ok. I'll get it right again :-D

That is definitely a little sign...