Thursday, May 29, 2008


You cannot reason with a 5-month old.

I told Eliot that she has no choice; she has to eat. "There are very little options in life if you refuse to eat." That's what I said.

"On some level, I'm sure eating can be a very scary experience." I told her that I understood her fear. (I don't really, but I told her that.)

I told her that eating will get easier, and that she just has to practice. She will need this mentality when she starts playing the violin. Or soccer. Mike made me add "soccer."

I lectured her about focus; about persistence; about the joy of attaining a goal.

She looked at me intently, confidently, and then proceeded to close her eyes, and fall asleep in my arms - her untouched, full bottle sitting lonely on the coffee table.

And I learned one thing from my lecture with Eliot today: you cannot reason with a 5-month old.

Monday, May 26, 2008

play date

We had our first play date over Memorial Weekend. Friends from our NICU days, Lauren and Paige, brought their son, Jesse, over on Sunday. A group photo on the couch had all of the adults laughing, but the babies didn't find it quite as amusing.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Elie McBeal

We've renamed our daughter Elie McBeal because she won't eat anything. Nada. A total hunger strike. Eliot's oral aversion is back with a vengeance, and she has decided that eating isn't so fun after all. Come on, El! Everybody's doing it!

We start feeding therapy with her this Thursday. I'm looking forward to learning how to help Eliot enjoy her bottles again. Since she is now taking very small amounts by mouth these days, the dreaded feeding tube is back, but thankfully, her cheerful personality hasn't diminished much. I've never seen a baby so happy to have a tube down her throat.

The twins had a G.I. appointment last week to check on their reflux, and after the doctor saw Owen's dramatic weight gain, he said that "the moose" was just there for a social visit. He weighs just over 13 pounds now, and is already on the charts for a normal 5-month old (chronological age). Amazing. For his adjusted age (2 months), he is in the 95th percentile for height and weight. This kid does not mess around when it comes to growing.

I am trying to get a montage together with pics of the little guy, but it's hard to catch him without a bottle in front of his face. Still working on it!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

pics of eliot

Eliot Makenna. Elie. Elie Mak. El El Bean. Big Mak. El-Train.
A montage of sweet Eliot.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

mother's day

I celebrated my own mom today. It's hard to believe that one day my twins will celebrate me. (For now, they are happy just to use me for food.)

Friday, May 9, 2008

life is good

Eliot's tube is out. We don't know if this was the right thing to do, but it's the thing we did. :) That's the explanation I gave to the pediatrician. I'm sure she was impressed.

Feedings are still a struggle for Elie, but she is gaining weight - a good sign that she is getting what she needs.

Owen continues to eat and sleep beautifully. His butt says "Life is Good," and we believe it.

Owen caught reverting to his old ways and sucking on Elie's head!

Don't they look alike in this pic?

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

desperate attempt

We are still trying to get Eliot up to full feedings. Things were going so well last week, and she was up to six full bottles a day. Then she decided she was done with her feeding tube, and she pulled it out. Just pulled it out. Right there - lying on my chest - pulled it out, smiled, and looked at me like she was in front of the class at "show and tell."

I thought she knew what was right for her, so I left it out. I was so desperate to see her taking all of her feedings by the bottle, and selfishly, I wanted to see her face without a taped tube across it. She was so beautiful.

She did well without the tube at first, and then started to slow. She went from taking six full bottles a day on Thursday, to only getting down two full feedings on Sunday. Out of sheer panic that she wasn't getting enough calories, we replaced her feeding tube Monday morning at 5am. What a wake-up call.

But, her little vacation downhill continued. From six full bottles, to two full bottles, to only finishing 1/4th of a few bottles throughout the day today. She has since started squirming, kicking her legs, and pulling away from the nipple. She is crazy- stubborn. I don't know where she gets it.

Tonight, there was a glimpse of hope, as she took almost all of her last bottle. When I tried to give her the teaspoon she had left, she gagged on her feeding tube, and threw up everything - all over me. Regurgitated breast milk pooling on my legs. Awesome.

The worst thing about this cycle is that it starts all over tomorrow, and right now, I don't have any next steps or great ideas to help her. I'm desperate and disappointed, and I just want Eliot to eat.

Sunday, May 4, 2008