hope

Most of you know the drama that surrounds Eliot and eating. She still - at 18 months old - takes NOTHING by mouth. Sure, there have been moments of magic during the last year and a half, but nothing has lasted. And there we are, every time she gives us a glimpse of progress, back to the bottom of our souls scraping our hope off like bubble gum stuck to our shoes.

But, we scrape. We scrape every bit of hope off, and we start over. Every day we put her in her highchair three times and attempt to feed her. To supplement our own efforts, her feeding therapist comes to our house twice a week, and she tries to feed her, tries to get her interested, tries to find a reason why she isn't eating yet. And I can tell you after doing this for over a year and a half, everyone involved is just plain tired.

Eliot's attitude toward eating is so negative and so ingrained at this point, neither Mike nor I have what it takes to push her over the edge and encourage her to start eating. (And I don't need any "Ohhhh. You're such a good mom." "You've done such a good job." "You've gotten Elie so far." Blah dee blah dee blah.) Our home involves barking dogs, ringing phones, a screaming Owen - certainly not the quiet, focused, calm environment that Eliot needs to concentrate on food. And so, I asked for help - because she needs it.

"Here ya go, professional feeding therapist people . . . here's my baby."

There are only a handful of feeding disorders clinics around the country - "institutes" run by behavioral psychologists who understand why children do what they do (way better than I can). We are lucky enough to have one of these clinics in our city - the Marcus Institute.

I applied to the Marcus Institute's Intensive Feeding Disorders Clinic in February of 2009. We interviewed with them in March, and they felt Eliot would be a good candidate for the program. Last week, after almost four months of waiting, the Marcus Institute gave me Elie's admit date - July 13th. Could it be? Some hope?

I want the big-brained psychologists at Marcus to help my Elie. I want this to be a positive experience for her, and I want her to learn to enjoy food so we can all sit down at the dinner table one night and celebrate over my famous fish tacos (well, that might be a little far in the future). I just want her feeding to get a jump start. That's it; that's all I want. I don't expect this to be the miracle cure. I just need to have my faith restored. I just need to find a reason to hope again.

i waited, and look what i got

I never had a baby shower. I never mailed out announcement cards. I never had professional black and white pictures taken of the twins sleeping all curled up like little bugs in Mike's hands - with a shot of their bare naked butts, and the token close-up shot of their adorable toes.

Instead, I waited. I waited for Eliot's tube to get taken out of her nose; I waited for Owen's reflux to subside (I'm still waiting on El's); I waited for both of them to be crawling and playing; and I waited for the perfect moment when the twins were both healthy and happy, and I was having a good hair day. (What?!? Some of this can be about me, ya know.)

And then, my wonderful and VERY talented friend - Robin Gilbreath - came over to our house and took the prettiest pictures. Mike and I cried when we saw how beautiful they turned out. Owen and Eliot were not adorable babies when they were born. You all know. You remember. They were teeny-tiny, purpleish-blueish creatures full of IV's and tubes and monitors. The last thing we wanted from those days were pictures to remind us.

So, when Robin was planning our photography session a month ago, she asked me what I envisioned, what I wanted. And I replied, "I want to remember the twins forever the way they are right now."

And that's the gift she has given to us. The most beautiful moment in time . . .

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

competition

With all of the excitement surrounding Owen's walking, Elie is starting to feel the pressure. So, she went into the bathroom today, stole some props, and upped the ante. Here's a video of Eliot taking her crawling to a whole new level.

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

moving fast!

Things are moving so fast around here, I can hardly keep up.

Check out the following video that features Owen walking unassisted down the hallway, and Eliot quenching her thirst with a fountain drink.

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wedding

Well, we have successfully arrived home from our first road trip with the twins. Mike's little sister, Julianne, got married last weekend in Memphis. Mike was a groomsmen; I was a bridesmaid; and O & E were petite honorary attendants.

Owen and Eliot did remarkably well for their first time away from home. They loved watching the famous Peabody ducks in the fountain and upstairs in their rooftop house; they were great sports as Mike and I bounced them around the dance floor long after their bed time; Owen was very enthusiastic about climbing over the pews at the church, and inhaling the waffles at the hotel breakfast; and Eliot only spit-up once the whole weekend (of course, she was at the reception in her fancy, ivory silk dress, but it WAS only once!).

We had such a great time. Thanks Julianne and Matt (and, of course, their parents) for an unforgettable celebration!

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