Friday, January 4, 2008

even the silence

"Even the silence is part of the music."

When the twins were born, they both cried immediately.  What a blessing.  But because Eliot got so sick soon after her birth, they had to intubate (placing a tube down her trachea so that they could mechanically ventilate).  Because of where the tube hit, she could not make a sound because her vocal chords were restricted by the tube. Once she was off of the ventilator and on the c-pap, she would open her mouth to scream, but nothing would come out because her throat was so hoarse.  I could hardly wait to hear my daughter cry.

Tonight, while I was getting ready to change her diaper (and I won't divulge on the mess that was waiting for me there), she let out a wail.  I looked at the baby next to her - thinking it must have been her, but that baby's mouth was filled with a bottle.  Ellie was indeed crying - screaming, in fact.  Not a little kitten cry either.  She let out a big fat, "Get this crap out of my pants" cry.  And I just sat in the rocking chair next to her bed and cried a handful of happy tears.  (Mike and I have learned to categorize our tears now.)  "My kid can cry," I said smiling.


T.S. Eliot said, "This love is silent."  Well, for Miss Ellie Mak, it's not anymore. This love is loud.

1 comment:

the muldrows said...

Now who would have thought Ellie would be loud - I mean her mother is quiet as a mouse....