On this day last year . . .
- I took a half day off from work to get a 20-week ultrasound;
- I was admitted to the hospital for preterm labor;
- I was started on two types of drugs to stop contractions I had never even felt;
- The doctor told me not to cry;
- I cried anyway.
On this day last year . . .
- I learned I had a crappy cervix;
- I blamed myself for always taking the stairs (There was an elevator at school. What was I thinking?!?);
- I thought about my life with the twins;
- I thought about my life if I lost them.
On this day last year . . .
- I was put on complete bed rest - only up to go to the bathroom, with a shower every other day;
- I typed in "premature labor" on Google (that was really stupid);
- I was very, very scared.
On this day last year . . .
- I stopped being a pregnant woman awaiting her children;
- I became a patient hooked up to monitors and an IV;
- I prayed for more time;
- I begged for more time;
- I hoped someone was listening.
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3 comments:
WOW . . . hard to imagine but hard to forget. We're glad you made it through the tough stuff and can enjoy your beautiful babies :)
Very profound.. Just look at the mountains you have conquered in this past year! Your strength is amazing and you and your family imspire me!
1) Why would a doctor be stupid enough to tell a pregnant woman NOT to cry? We should have had our doubts then.
2) A cervix is a cervix. Judging anything up your hoo-ha is just plain wrong.
3) Using the internet for personal medical use should be banned. Not that I'm against being well informed, but I don't think this is what Al Gore envisioned when he invented it. I say use it to scare your friends into thinking they have an STD, but that should be the extent of it.
4) Don't forget the mini - fridge: a patient hooked up to monitors and an IV with a mini fridge. That's a pretty flipping sweet hookup - especially when it smelled of corned beef... which is what I remember most... and what will forever remind me of Christmas from now on. Thanks Owen and Elie. Thanks.
Okay, kidding aside: I can tell you that a year ago, I gained more love and respect for you than I had already (which is pretty astounding, even to me); that I found beauty in the way people who didn't know you, rallied around your family in unseen ways; I fed off your strength and hope, and tried (and sometimes failed) to give it back when you seemed like you needed a dose. I love you, I love Mike, and I love Owen and Elie Mak.
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